Ignoring the Loudest Noises I've Ever Heard

It's hard to ignore shrieking at 50,000 decibels (give or take). One thing I've noticed that the boys simply cannot abide is being ignored while I'm in the room. They're used to having their own room on the side of the house, which means every time someone entered the room it was specifically to pay attention to them. Obviously this is a problem because someday I'm going to live in a house where they'll be hanging out with the whole family.... who knows, their cages may even be in the kitchen/dining room/living room/somewhere where the main thoroughfare occurs. They're going to have to get used to people walking by them and not showering them with attention.

So I have begun setting my plan to break them of this habit into motion. I'm going to sit in their room, and watch Netflix. I'm going to ignore them completely. And I'm going to wear ear plugs.

What's that you say? "BEEP CA CAAWW RAWRRR?" I didn't catch it because of my awesome ear plugs.

Reactions have been pretty hilarious.  It's been hard to sit here and listen to all their crazy squawks, beeps, screams, and dinosaur noises without just collapsing in a fit of laughter. I had to catch this video of Loki while looking the other way and biting my lip. He was not amused. Despite the fact that I think this plan is going to take months, maybe YEARS to implement, I think it will ultimately work.

 

One Week In

I'm writing this from the bird room. I just sprayed Loki with a water bottle to calm down some of the dust he puts off, and now he's running around the top of his cage, wings outstretched, screaming his head off. It would be a lot cuter if my ear drums weren't bleeding (note to self: wear headphones in bird room).

Cray-ball cockatoo.

So we've made it one week. It's been quite an experience. I like lists, so here's what's been going on in list form.

1. We have started clicker training. So far it doesn't seem that either bird has really caught on, but it's only been a few days and I'm going to give it a lot of time to see where this goes. So far I'm doing touch training using a wooden skewer, where I ask the bird to "touch" the end of the skewer with their beak. I click, they get a treat. Touch training is apparently really good for building a foundation for other things, such as stepping up (which Mango already knows how to do, but Loki does not). I've only been doing this for a few minutes each day, so time will tell. I've also been working on "step up" with Mango. He already knows how to do it, but he's a little butt about it sometimes. He's very easily excited and easily distracted, so it doesn't always work. I'm attempting zero negative reinforcement, which is really hard when you have a crazy, bitey bird, but I've been pretty successful thus far .

2. Mango has pretty nutso separation anxiety. I don't blame the little guy, he's spent the last several years in a cage, and he LOVES coming out... I'd be a little crazy too. If I'm outside the room and he can hear me talking, he's screaming. If I'm in the room and Loki is out, Mango is trying to get my attention with a variety of screams, knocks, vibrations with his beak on the cage bars or a toy, or other repetitive motions that I do not like seeing. The only time that he's totally calm around me is when he's on my body somewhere. Hands and knees (I like to let him perch on my knees when I'm laying on bed watching Netflix) are ok. Shoulders/chest are a big problem. He goes into crazy territorial mode when he's on someone's shoulder or chest, particularly mine, and WILL NOT step up onto anybody's finger when there. Putting my hands anywhere near him while he's on my shoulder or chest results in an aggressive shriek and a hard bite. So until he gets "step up" down HARD, he is not allowed on anybody's shoulder.

Right before the last time I got bit super hard. No more, Sir Mango!

3. Although Loki was willing to come out into my hands and arms when he was back in Maryland, he does not trust me here. Again, I don't blame him. He's an old, smart bird who was just moved 3,000 miles across the country to a different time zone, climate, room, and cage. He's pretty traumatized. Touch training is going ok with him, and he loves to play on top of his cage, give me head boops, and get head scratches, so I'm happy with that for now. We're gonna take it REAL slow with him. He's very interested in toys (and by "interested in" I mean "interested in destroying") and treats, which I am thrilled about. Yesterday was cage cleaning day, and here's a before/after photo of his litter tray:

Above: The remains of many toys. Below: so fresh and so clean. But way more boring.

4. Two nights this past week, Loki has decided to sing the song of his people at midnight. MIDNIGHT. AS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN NIGHT. He goes for about 10 minutes and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. The window is shut, so he shouldn't be bothered by animals outside, but maybe he can still hear them? It's pitch black in the room. Someone suggested, "maybe he's still getting used to the time change?" I'd buy that, except that it would mean that he started screaming at 3:00 am back at home... which I know isn't true. I don't know what it's about, but I really really really really REALLY hope he gets a grip on himself and stops. Even Mango scolded him when he started in last night. All I can do is ignore it, and try to get back to sleep.

5. The "let's be friends" sheet is working beautifully. Loki has been focusing on destroying the perch/toy/fiber/whatever is on top of his cage, and he completely ignores Mango now that they can't see each other. I've even had them both out at the same time a couple of times now. It's great. HOORAY SOMETHING IS WORKING!

KUUUMBAAAYAAAAAAAAA

So my hope is that we'll have touch training down in three weeks. I'd really like for Loki to trust me enough to step up onto my hand within a month, but I've read varying accounts from different sources, so I won't be too devastated if it doesn't happen. I can be patient. I'm also expecting a huge trust set-back when I take them to the vet (hopefully next week). Micro-chips and nail trims for all!

Lessons Learned on Day 1

1. Mango loves me, and hates everyone else. Loki tolerates everyone, and hates Mango. This is nothing new. I let Mango out to play and Mango just desperately wants to be on my shoulder. Even being on my hand isn't good enough, he's anxious and nippy until he's on my shoulder. And then he's impossible to get off my shoulder without sustaining serious bites. It's a problem we're going to work on.

Loki, on the other hand, spent his entire time out of the cage trying to intimidate Mango with displays of strength (i.e. shredding his new hardwood perch and throwing the pieces on the floor in the general direction of Mango's cage). Sorry, bro, Mango isn't going anywhere. To his credit, Mango completely ignored Loki and happily munched away at some dried banana chips during this whole ordeal.

It was like watching twigs go through a wood chipper.

My solution? I installed a "let's be friends sheet." Now they can't see each other, but they can still hear each other. As far as I can tell, Loki is happy and Mango is completely oblivious.

Let's Be Friends Sheet Level: Working

2. As I suspected, Mango's love can be bought with millet. D attempted to touch Mango a couple times, ending up with some bites. Then out came the millet. Oooooh, we do loves the millet, don't we precious? After some serious bribes (and millet all over the floor) Mango was happily munching while perched on D's finger. And then he bit D again. And then he ate more millet and everything was ok. It's going to take time, but I think they can be friends.

You can't see the blood on D's fingers in this pic.

3. Loki has gone into Dinosaur Mode of Destruction. It's like he's trying to make up for the last several years of boredom in one day. He has completely destroyed one entire toy, half of a wood perch, one quarter of this awesome rope wall thing, and part of his rope perch. In less than 12 hours. To everyone who thought I was going WAY overboard on buying toys and perches, I say this: Everything I bought him will be completely destroyed in less than a month. I guarantee it.

Admiring his destruction.

4. The super awesome hanging perch I made out of weathered manzanita I found while hiking in Joshua Tree a couple years ago? It is hot lava. Mango happily perched on basically every surface I set him down on today: actual perches, his cage, the window sill, the bathroom counter, the floor, D, my bed. This perch was evil incarnate. He screamed at it, bit it, postured at it, bit some chunks out of it, and then screamed at it some more. Sigh.

Looking at it from this angle, I can see how mortally dangerous it is. Not.

Today was a good day. I wasn't really expecting Loki to jump into my arms, and he didn't. Tomorrow is another day. I know how sweet he can be, so it's just a matter of building trust. Mango has some anxiety issues, and we're going to work on those too. Goals! I think by the end of the week I'll have a good idea of what things to tackle first. And I'll have bought a clicker.

And here's another picture because he's the most adorable dinosaur:

BIRBS ARE HERE

They are here! A little rumpled, hungry, and thirsty, but here. After some food, water, screaming the song of their people, and some tentative cage exploration, they are settled and it's now night night time.

Phew, what a journey! I will bomb this blog with adorable photos starting tomorrow.

Three more days! Three more days! Three more days!

I haven't had much to post onto my BIRD blog because I don't currently have BIRDS.

That will all change in three days!

My feather-kids are scheduled to arrive in San Diego at 6:30 p.m. on Saturday. Holy hell, that snuck up on me.

D is already making a plan to keep me as calm as possible Saturday morning, with promises of things like "gardening," "yoga and meditation," and "frozen yogurt." I still think I'm going to require a heavy sedative to not be an Anxious Annie McNervouspants. Everything has to go smoothly in Maryland, and I can control exactly none of it from California. Mom is nervous about getting them into their crates. The crates need to be approved by the airlines. Mom has to fill out all kinds of paperwork. They have to be put on the correct flight. They have a layover where someone else needs to put them on their next correct flight. They need to be calm because stress can kill birds pretty easily and these guys have like zero life experiences outside of their current room. Also can you tell that I'm a control freak and 100% of my anxiety stems from having to rely on people? I bet you can't. (I bet you can).

The Final Week (plus two days) of Whole30 Insanity

Day 22 (5/5/14): Today was such a blur. Nest survey early in the morning, back to office for a couple hours, then head home to move more stuff. All I really recall eating is some carrot sticks, a weaksauce salad, and plantains, chicken, and green beans for dinner. Sounds about right.

Day 23 (5/6/14): MOVING DAY! I'm moving today. Am I moving today, you ask? Why yes! I am! All my things are going from THIS house to THAT OTHER house! Stomach not feeling well today due to Rx change, so I just pick at things. Bad eating the last couple of days is making me grumpy, tired, etc. Will go to grocery store tomorrow for all the veggies, but for now... I sleep.

Day 24 (5/7/14): Remember that time I moved and said that I was tired and needed to sleep? Yeah, me too. Sleep didn't happen. The cats YOWLED ALL NIGHT LONG. Not even a 5 minute break. Couldn't make breakfast when I got up at 4:30 am, had to do Starbucks for breakfast. Needless to say, they do not offer paleo breakfasts, so I cheated. Egg white, spinach, feta (cringe), all on a wrap (doh!). Briefly thought about just picking the egg off, and then ate the entire thing in a fit of rage. Staying at a friend's house tonight.

Day 25 (5/8/14): Stomach still not ok. Hungry, but just thinking about eating making me feel nauseated.

Day 26 (5/9/14): Repeat of Day 25. Grocery shopping today was grueling. Ended up buying applesauce, zucchini, and kiwis. Wtf? I can't make dinner with that, dumb brain. Cheat again for dinner - paleo pancakes. All ingredients are Whole30 approved, but it's technically a "sweet" food. Fuck it. They're delicious and actually kinda calm my stomach (for about 10 minutes). Only 3 ingredients: banana, egg, and almond flour. Nom.

Day 27 (5/10/14): Wake up feeling like it's gonna be a repeat of the last several days. Eggs for breakfast sit in my stomach like a rock. I'm starving and feeling weak by 10 am. Still can't really eat anything. Roommate offers me half her shrimp/veggie/rice burrito for lunch. It actually sounds good, so I eat some of it. If my options are eat Whole30 foods and feel horrible, or eat a shrimp burrito and feel great, guess which one I'm going to pick? You bet your butt I shoved that burrito right into my mouth hole. Even though I've had several serious lapses in the Whole30 program, I'm still trying my best to stick to it most of the time (as opposed to how I normally face challenges, which is, once I fail, I keep failing so hard over and over again because who cares? I failed.). I only have three more days, and I can definitely make them count.

Day 28 (5/11/14):Stuck with it today. Salad from Subway because I was running tons of errands. Very meh, but did the trick. I'm ready for this challenge to be over, honestly. Even though, yes, there is a wonderful variety of vegetables and meats available to eat, I'm not feeling fulfilled or satisfied by what I'm eating. Eating that shrimp burrito the other day, which had rice in it, was the most satisfied I've felt in the entire 30 days. Stomach still not 100% ok, but doing much better than a couple days ago.

Day 29 (5/12/14): Feeling so much better today. Eggs and bacon don't make my stomach buck.Salad, asparagus, lamb (OMG YUM), and curried sweet potato chips. Yup. All that happened.

Day 30 (5/13/14): My last day. I didn't make anything extraordinary, too tired from work. It was literally 100 degrees today, and a huge fire broke out in San Diego. No homes or lives lost (yet, fingers crossed it stays that way), but over 1500 acres of pristine coastal sage scrub gone. Just totally burned to a crisp. Screw droughts.

Summary: Doing this challenge with a move and Rx change right smack in the third/fourth week was a terrible idea. Combination of stress, feeling awful, and 90+ degree temperatures made the last week really miserable. I'm glad that I had some kind of guiding rule/light-force to keep me away from chocolate during this stressful, hormonal time, but I could have really used some toast to calm my stomach.


All in all, I'm really REALLY glad I tried this challenge. I didn't totally meet the standards of Whole30, but I got SUPER close and I'm proud of myself for that. I still crave sweet things and salty junk-food snacks from time to time, but my brain no longer goes crazy when I walk past the candy at the grocery check-out. I even watched an Almond Joy commercial yesterday and didn't cry (jk, I've never cried over candy). I'm going to allow myself one piece of chocolate on day 31, and then try out another 30 days of no processed sugar. I'll start to work pseudo-grains and regular grains back into my diet, natural sweeteners like honey and maple syrup (in tiny amounts), and a little bit of dairy (hard cheeses and small amounts of yogurt). 

The Third Week of Whole30 Cray-Ballness

Day 15 (4/28/14): I'm HALFWAY THERE! Also, just kidding about the lost weight thing. I think the shorts just stretched out. (An aside: my body is pretty much incapable of losing weight. Only with a combination of extreme exercise and pretty serious calorie restriction do I EVER lose weight. I trained for a half marathon for like 4 months on 1400 calories a day and lost three pounds. THREE. POUNDS. And everything still jiggled and my clothes fit me, so don't give me that "you were building muscle" crap. My genetics want me to be shaped like a Teletubby forever. Ok. Rant over.) So today was leftover Bora Bora Fireballs, carrot sticks, eggs, brussels sprouts, and a gargantuan salad with shredded salmon and beets on top for dinner. Omg. Yum.

Day 16 (4/29/14): Two eggs and two strips of bacon for brekkie (been hanging out with my roommate too long). Looonnnng drive up into the mountains for field work today. 10 oz chia drink and a handful of carrot sticks snack attack keeps hunger at bay until... wait for it..... 5:00 p.m. Now don't get me wrong, I could have eaten during that time. I could have probably eaten an entire cow. But I didn't get that crazed I HAVE TO EAT RIGHT NOW feeling until I got home from work. And then salami and pineapple and brussels sprouts (not all at the same time) went into my mouth hole. (An aside: hooray for finally being too busy at work to stop and eat. For real. I've been waiting for this since last fall. Busy Mandy is happy Mandy.)

Day 17 (4/30/14): I thought I'd be getting sick of eggs by now, but I'm really not. Before I decided to do this challenge, I ate Kashi cereal for breakfast. Same cereal. Same flax milk. Every. Single. Day. But if I ate eggs two days in a row, I'd be sick of them. I'm not sick of eggs now! Finding something frustrating: I began to follow several "paleo" blogs on Instagram, Tumblr, Blogger, etc. to find some daily inspiration for recipes. I'd venture to guess that about 80% of recipes these people post are Paleo-fied desserts. People. This completely misses the point of the paleo lifestyle. -_- Bucket of salmon-beet-salad for lunch at work. The beets turned EVERYTHING bright pink. Funnest lunch ever! Sweet potato fries, steak, and huge salad for dinner.

Day 18 (5/1/14): Field day! Snacks include carrot sticks and almond butter, salami, and various other goodies. Spent much of the day talking about how wonderful coconut is in everything and how nut butters (excluding peanut butter) rule supreme. Made the best tostones I've ever made in my entire life for dinner with chicken cooked in green chile salsa and green beans. I can't even.

Day 19 (5/2/14): Still chugging along. Moving stress is becoming REAL right now. The house is getting emptier and emptier. D takes me out to dinner at a new place called True Foods Kitchen. I'm not going to lie to you all. I cheated. I got a chopped chicken salad that was DELICIOUS, but it had a dressing with some non-approved ingredients and some kind of unidentifiable pseudo-grain. Do I feel guilty about eating a delicious salad made with organic, locally grown, seasonal ingredients? Not even a little bit.

Day 20 (5/3/14): So much moving. How do we have so much stuff? I cheat again at lunch when we go to Outback Steakhouse. Small steak, coconut shrimp, and vegetables that I'm pretty sure were cooked in butter. Again. I'm not stressing. Bora Bora Fireballs for dinner tonight and for snacking tomorrow. So tired. Much sore. Many moving. Very furniture. Wow!

Day 21 (5/4/14): Champagne brunch at the old house. I resisted bagels, cream cheese, champagne, and muffins. Eggs, bacon, and fruit please! Very busy doing moving stuff today, not a lot of time to really sit down and eat. Leftover Bora Bora Fireballs for lunch, random snacking on veggies and fireballs throughout the day. Today's the last day I get to watch D jump into the pool. He's going back on the island early tomorrow morning. I am le sad :(

Summary: I am totally getting the hang of this. Hunger is way more under control. I still crave sweet things and bread every once in a while, but not every 5 minutes. My biggest disappointment is reading all these other blogs of people who lost all this weight during their Whole30 challenge, and I haven't lost a pound. I've maintained. Which, don't get me wrong, is WAY better than gaining when I'm supposed to be losing... but still. Once the move is complete I'll be ramping up the workouts like whoa (we're getting a new elliptical too! Weee!!), so that should help. And I've decided that I'm going to stick with Paleo diet/lifestyle, with the addition of some pseudo-grains and the subtraction of many much meats (nod to Liz). Not all meats. Just cutting back on red meat and salami. Cause I looooove salami and Ive been eating too much of it.